After experiencing contractions off and on for nearly 4 weeks, seeing our due date come and go, and setting and canceling our first scheduled induction, my midwife scheduled a visit for an ultrasound and our second non-stress test. Everything with baby looked great, healthy and normal on the inside...yet my stress and discomfort continued to rise when I learned my baby's estimated weight was 9lbs (almost 2 lbs larger than my first). So we decided to set another induction in two days time. As our midwife called in the order I felt a few more strong contractions and I tried to set it to the back of my mind as I had with all other contractions that week, knowing they were only teasing me and my hopes that labor would start at any given moment.
When our Midwife returned to the room we learned that Thursday's inductions were completely booked up and the best she could do on either side was a scheduled induction for the night before at 10pm (not ideal for those who prefer to be well rested for labor) but we decided to take it because the thought of waiting out yet another weekend was unbearable.
Our baby girl was due a week before on our 10th wedding anniversary. I hadn't wanted to share the date with our baby girl but with all of the false labor starts and stops by the time our anniversary arrived I would have welcomed her birth on that day as a beautiful present...I just wanted to be done. It's incredibly draining to experience upwards of 8 hours of consistent contractions that disappear into thin air, episodes occurring every 5-6 days with contraction times narrowing in time and strengthening with intensity with every occurrence. Sleeping was beyond a chore...in fact there was no comfortable position to sleep in for longer than 2 hours at a time. I was waking constantly with throbbing pain in one hip or the other.
In desperation to keep contractions from stopping I took matters into my own hands and experimented with every labor inducing trick in the book. I walked 12,000 steps one day including 21 flights of stairs, I was drinking raspberry leaf tea by the gallon, eating full pineapples and spicy foods on a daily basis, I even tried using a breast pump to stimulate oxytocin and a *sip* of castor oil...but nothing, NOTHING worked.
After scheduling our Wednesday night induction, my back-up doula, Kate, called to talk about how I was feeling and to talk through any questions or concerns. After explaining some things about my visit she paused and asked if the midwife had indicated what side baby's feet were on. I explained that nothing had changed in several weeks and baby's feet were on the left side with baby's back on the right. Kate then brought to my attention that baby was most likely posterior (aka sunny side up) and she had known of several instances of posterior babes giving mama's a hard time with false labors and most also ended up being induced. She sent me some literature explaining that although baby may be ready to come out, because of the baby's positioning labor is almost impossible to progress unless baby is able to turn. This made a lot of sense to me and made me feel better about moving forward with the induction...
When the day of the induction arrived the day started with strong contractions, which of course dissipated into oblivion with a few hours time and I decided to spend the day relaxing, and resting. I even scheduled a pre-natal massage for 5:30pm. Just before leaving John reminded me to call labor and delivery to see if there had been any cancelations for Thursday...and to our surprise there was a 10am cancelation. We leaped at the chance to get more rest before kick-starting labor and we rescheduled one last time for a 10am induction the following morning. I enjoyed my massage more than ever knowing I had one more night of rest.
We went to sleep early and woke up around 7am to pack the car. Since you're not allowed to eat once induced we planned a big breakfast at a pancake house not far from the hospital with Gunnar and my parents tagging along. But minutes before we were about to walk out the door I got a call from Labor and Delivery with bad news...our induction had to be postponed, the hospital was overcrowded and there was no room for us..."we'll call you if a room opens up, otherwise call us at noon to see if we have a room for you." Since we'd already planned breakfast we decided to move forward with our plan and enjoyed a very large breakfast at Walkers Pancake House. We finished a leisurely breakfast around 10 and with plenty of time to spare we went to the Ba'hai Temple to walk around a bit and then to Barnes and Noble in downtown Evanston. I called L&D promptly at noon only to be told to call back in two more hours. We decided to give up the wait near the hospital and we headed home to eat lunch and rest. I called again at 2 and got the same response as before...call back in 2 hours. There is nothing so agonizing as knowing you're about to begin a journey you've been waiting 9.5 months to begin only to be told you have to wait 2 more hours and then 2 more hours and yet 2 more hours. I tried to rest...but had to settle for tub time as I was too anxious to sleep.
Finally at 4pm my midwife called with the good news that we could head to the hospital at 5:30pm. John and I ate an early dinner and headed to the hospital to check-in, but not before we swung by Andy's Custard shop where I got a last minute essential pre-labor peanut butter malt! YUM!!
We checked in at 5:35pm and were sent to the one room we had hoped NOT to deliver in...the dreaded room with NO WINDOWS that we saw on our tour. But, beggers can't be choosers and we knew we were fortunate enough to be there and not waiting in limbo at home any longer. We learned all too quickly how lucky we were when our nurse came in to tell us that two women just arrived in full swing labor and there were no rooms left because we had taken the last room...so those poor women were sent to labor in recovery rooms. Labor and Delivery was a FULL house and since it was so full they were slightly understaffed with nurses and since I was stable they were unable to get my induction underway. So John and I just hung out and watched some tv until the nurses were finally able to come in and get me set up with an IV and eventually start my pitocin drip. By the time we were set up with pitocin it was about 8:30pm with no labor in site. We walked around the halls for about 20 minutes, long enough to realize that this was a very boring activity. We retreated to our room where we selected a movie to watch (Enough Said) while I bounced on my labor ball and we waited for labor to kick in. Contractions didn't really hit hard until about midnight when it was getting harder to strictly breathe through contractions. We called for back up with our doula Nikki around 12:30am. It was around this time that my regular midwife came in to see how I was doing...by my positioning and sounds she could tell the labor was in full swing and offered to check me. At this point I was 90% effaced but only 3cm dilated...which was somewhat disappointing to hear but I could feel things picking up and believed I was well underway.
By the time our doula arrived contractions had reached a new high...I am completely certain that I had never felt anything anywhere near as painful when I labored naturally with Gunnar. I don't remember the need to make tribal moaning sounds to get through the pain and I certainly don't remember them lasting as long as these which at times were running as long as 4-minutes long. Thank goodness Nikki had some tricks up her sleeve to help me during contractions. Unfortunately the only position that seemed to work was standing and pressing down on the bed. And as labor progressed these 4 minute long contractions started running together, sometimes there would be 3-4 back to back and my legs just couldn't take it. Thankfully there were a few moments when the contractions would stop and give me a 3-5 minute break but those were few and too far between to gain adequate rest. And to make matters worse, taking large cleansing breaths was nearly impossible because of congestion and a head cold I had contracted the same day. This went on for about 5 hours. John and Nikki were amazing. Nikki never left my side, rocking my hips through each contraction and reminding me to breath. John was calm and reminded me to rest and held my hands through the long and hard contractions. At some point when I thought I might burst into uncontrollable tears of pain and frustration John placed a hard object in my hand and said "It's G's Rock" I looked down to see the smooth rock Gunnar had proudly found the day before...I'm not sure why but that little token reminded me of that beautiful end prize and how it was all worth it and gave me the strength to power through the next hour. At one point I started to feel enormous pressure building and the urge to push was heavy. My nurse and midwife were paged and as soon as my midwife walked in the room and saw the stage of labor I was at she was convinced we were about to have a baby...within minutes everything was set up in the room to deliver and I was in bed while Linda checked my cervix...only to hear her say:
"Okay you're at a good 4cm, and 100% effaced. Making progress which is great! Just a little further and you'll be there."
But for me this news was incredibly disheartening. When I arrived at the hospital in labor with G, I was already at 6cm. And to hear that in 6 hours of the hardest labor I could ever imagine I'd only progressed 1 cm and the contractions were no where near letting up...and knowing I was nowhere near transition which everyone knows to be the most difficult part of labor...I knew, I just knew the ability to stand on my weakened legs and muster the power through an unknown amount of time before having to rally an ungodly amount of strength to push...it just wasn't going to happen. I couldn't do it. This wasn't how labor was meant to be and if there are women who can power through pitocin induced contractions this fierce for more than 6 hours I would kneel before them in admiration. Pitocin makes contractions wicked and unnaturally strong. It didn't take me long before I demanded my epidural...my midwife, my doula, John...everyone was hesitant to grant it to me knowing how much I wanted a natural birth...but the pitocin had already taken that away from me, this labor was not natural. And so I was insistent and demanded they bring me relief immediately under one condition...they use LOTS and LOTS of TAPE! (No way would I stand for my epidural falling out again).
So around 6:45am my relief arrived and shortly after my backup midwife Katie came in to break my water and luckily the water was clear this time! The plan was to rest and wait it out...so we all took a break and rested but it wasn't long before I was feeling immense pressure to push again. Around 8:30 I called for Katie to come check me. And sure enough my cervix was gone. Katie asked me if I'd like to try a few practice pushes to see how things went. So we did a few pushes but knowing I pushed for 4+ hours with Gunnar we both thought it best to labor down and rest until the urge to push was unbearable before we really got the show on the road. So around 9:10am Katie put me in a position called the "Jack Knife" to rest in for an hour or two. This position supposedly gives the baby less room up top and helps the baby descend into the birth canal. I tried my best to rest but about 20 minutes later I could not contain the pressure any longer and called Katie back...I had to push.
This pushing was a far different experience then I had with my first. My epidural must have been set on a very low dosage as I could really feel everything happening. Surely it wasn't as painful as doing it without meds, but I definitely could feel all the pressure as my pushes were progressing the baby's head. I was in control this time telling everyone when I was going to push. During breaks between pushing John said we should place bets on the color of baby's hair. So I guessed blonde and he put in a bet for brown. After only 45 minutes of pushing they announced they could see the babies full head of dark hair! And as we got closer Katie had me slow down and give more and slightly stronger pushes...before I knew it the head was out and John was exclaiming how beautiful her face was and that she looked just like Gunnar (she was posterior after all...her face was sunnyside up)! And with one more push I could feel the baby release out of my body and into the arms of Katie. It was a glorious emotional and amazing feeling and I was so grateful to feel it happen this time. But my attention was focused elsewhere, I held my breath waiting in fear for that cry (praying to God we didn't have a scare like we did with G). She didn't cry immediately but within a minute we heard her lungs open up as she sang her first beautiful song for us. John and I burst into tears at the sound. I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved and happy in my life. So thankful to have a quick, healthy and safe delivery...
For the next 30 minutes we ogled over how big and beautiful she was. The nurses placed bets on how heavy she'd be before placing her on the scale. None of them guessing under 9 lbs...but, she fooled them all with her 8 pounds and 14 ounces. John and I could not believe the full head of virtually black hair and her perfectly feminine long fingers and gorgeous toes. Everything about her was more perfect than I could have ever imagined. And as John and I joked...I was so happy to not be pregnant any more!
Margot Maeve Hammergren was born at 10:31am on her paternal grandmother's birthday, July 25th, 2014. After only 12 hours of labor with the assistance of pitocin AND an epidural, I regret nothing. I was proud of the effort I made to attempt a natural birth and glad I pulled the plug on that idea when I did so that I was able get enough rest to power push this nearly nine pound baby into the world in 1/4 the time it took with my first (who was only 7 lbs 5 oz).
Welcome to the world Margot...I've loved you every minute you were inside of me and I will love you forever and a day now that you're in my arms.
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When our Midwife returned to the room we learned that Thursday's inductions were completely booked up and the best she could do on either side was a scheduled induction for the night before at 10pm (not ideal for those who prefer to be well rested for labor) but we decided to take it because the thought of waiting out yet another weekend was unbearable.
Our baby girl was due a week before on our 10th wedding anniversary. I hadn't wanted to share the date with our baby girl but with all of the false labor starts and stops by the time our anniversary arrived I would have welcomed her birth on that day as a beautiful present...I just wanted to be done. It's incredibly draining to experience upwards of 8 hours of consistent contractions that disappear into thin air, episodes occurring every 5-6 days with contraction times narrowing in time and strengthening with intensity with every occurrence. Sleeping was beyond a chore...in fact there was no comfortable position to sleep in for longer than 2 hours at a time. I was waking constantly with throbbing pain in one hip or the other.
In desperation to keep contractions from stopping I took matters into my own hands and experimented with every labor inducing trick in the book. I walked 12,000 steps one day including 21 flights of stairs, I was drinking raspberry leaf tea by the gallon, eating full pineapples and spicy foods on a daily basis, I even tried using a breast pump to stimulate oxytocin and a *sip* of castor oil...but nothing, NOTHING worked.
After scheduling our Wednesday night induction, my back-up doula, Kate, called to talk about how I was feeling and to talk through any questions or concerns. After explaining some things about my visit she paused and asked if the midwife had indicated what side baby's feet were on. I explained that nothing had changed in several weeks and baby's feet were on the left side with baby's back on the right. Kate then brought to my attention that baby was most likely posterior (aka sunny side up) and she had known of several instances of posterior babes giving mama's a hard time with false labors and most also ended up being induced. She sent me some literature explaining that although baby may be ready to come out, because of the baby's positioning labor is almost impossible to progress unless baby is able to turn. This made a lot of sense to me and made me feel better about moving forward with the induction...
When the day of the induction arrived the day started with strong contractions, which of course dissipated into oblivion with a few hours time and I decided to spend the day relaxing, and resting. I even scheduled a pre-natal massage for 5:30pm. Just before leaving John reminded me to call labor and delivery to see if there had been any cancelations for Thursday...and to our surprise there was a 10am cancelation. We leaped at the chance to get more rest before kick-starting labor and we rescheduled one last time for a 10am induction the following morning. I enjoyed my massage more than ever knowing I had one more night of rest.
We went to sleep early and woke up around 7am to pack the car. Since you're not allowed to eat once induced we planned a big breakfast at a pancake house not far from the hospital with Gunnar and my parents tagging along. But minutes before we were about to walk out the door I got a call from Labor and Delivery with bad news...our induction had to be postponed, the hospital was overcrowded and there was no room for us..."we'll call you if a room opens up, otherwise call us at noon to see if we have a room for you." Since we'd already planned breakfast we decided to move forward with our plan and enjoyed a very large breakfast at Walkers Pancake House. We finished a leisurely breakfast around 10 and with plenty of time to spare we went to the Ba'hai Temple to walk around a bit and then to Barnes and Noble in downtown Evanston. I called L&D promptly at noon only to be told to call back in two more hours. We decided to give up the wait near the hospital and we headed home to eat lunch and rest. I called again at 2 and got the same response as before...call back in 2 hours. There is nothing so agonizing as knowing you're about to begin a journey you've been waiting 9.5 months to begin only to be told you have to wait 2 more hours and then 2 more hours and yet 2 more hours. I tried to rest...but had to settle for tub time as I was too anxious to sleep.
Finally at 4pm my midwife called with the good news that we could head to the hospital at 5:30pm. John and I ate an early dinner and headed to the hospital to check-in, but not before we swung by Andy's Custard shop where I got a last minute essential pre-labor peanut butter malt! YUM!!
We checked in at 5:35pm and were sent to the one room we had hoped NOT to deliver in...the dreaded room with NO WINDOWS that we saw on our tour. But, beggers can't be choosers and we knew we were fortunate enough to be there and not waiting in limbo at home any longer. We learned all too quickly how lucky we were when our nurse came in to tell us that two women just arrived in full swing labor and there were no rooms left because we had taken the last room...so those poor women were sent to labor in recovery rooms. Labor and Delivery was a FULL house and since it was so full they were slightly understaffed with nurses and since I was stable they were unable to get my induction underway. So John and I just hung out and watched some tv until the nurses were finally able to come in and get me set up with an IV and eventually start my pitocin drip. By the time we were set up with pitocin it was about 8:30pm with no labor in site. We walked around the halls for about 20 minutes, long enough to realize that this was a very boring activity. We retreated to our room where we selected a movie to watch (Enough Said) while I bounced on my labor ball and we waited for labor to kick in. Contractions didn't really hit hard until about midnight when it was getting harder to strictly breathe through contractions. We called for back up with our doula Nikki around 12:30am. It was around this time that my regular midwife came in to see how I was doing...by my positioning and sounds she could tell the labor was in full swing and offered to check me. At this point I was 90% effaced but only 3cm dilated...which was somewhat disappointing to hear but I could feel things picking up and believed I was well underway.
By the time our doula arrived contractions had reached a new high...I am completely certain that I had never felt anything anywhere near as painful when I labored naturally with Gunnar. I don't remember the need to make tribal moaning sounds to get through the pain and I certainly don't remember them lasting as long as these which at times were running as long as 4-minutes long. Thank goodness Nikki had some tricks up her sleeve to help me during contractions. Unfortunately the only position that seemed to work was standing and pressing down on the bed. And as labor progressed these 4 minute long contractions started running together, sometimes there would be 3-4 back to back and my legs just couldn't take it. Thankfully there were a few moments when the contractions would stop and give me a 3-5 minute break but those were few and too far between to gain adequate rest. And to make matters worse, taking large cleansing breaths was nearly impossible because of congestion and a head cold I had contracted the same day. This went on for about 5 hours. John and Nikki were amazing. Nikki never left my side, rocking my hips through each contraction and reminding me to breath. John was calm and reminded me to rest and held my hands through the long and hard contractions. At some point when I thought I might burst into uncontrollable tears of pain and frustration John placed a hard object in my hand and said "It's G's Rock" I looked down to see the smooth rock Gunnar had proudly found the day before...I'm not sure why but that little token reminded me of that beautiful end prize and how it was all worth it and gave me the strength to power through the next hour. At one point I started to feel enormous pressure building and the urge to push was heavy. My nurse and midwife were paged and as soon as my midwife walked in the room and saw the stage of labor I was at she was convinced we were about to have a baby...within minutes everything was set up in the room to deliver and I was in bed while Linda checked my cervix...only to hear her say:
"Okay you're at a good 4cm, and 100% effaced. Making progress which is great! Just a little further and you'll be there."
But for me this news was incredibly disheartening. When I arrived at the hospital in labor with G, I was already at 6cm. And to hear that in 6 hours of the hardest labor I could ever imagine I'd only progressed 1 cm and the contractions were no where near letting up...and knowing I was nowhere near transition which everyone knows to be the most difficult part of labor...I knew, I just knew the ability to stand on my weakened legs and muster the power through an unknown amount of time before having to rally an ungodly amount of strength to push...it just wasn't going to happen. I couldn't do it. This wasn't how labor was meant to be and if there are women who can power through pitocin induced contractions this fierce for more than 6 hours I would kneel before them in admiration. Pitocin makes contractions wicked and unnaturally strong. It didn't take me long before I demanded my epidural...my midwife, my doula, John...everyone was hesitant to grant it to me knowing how much I wanted a natural birth...but the pitocin had already taken that away from me, this labor was not natural. And so I was insistent and demanded they bring me relief immediately under one condition...they use LOTS and LOTS of TAPE! (No way would I stand for my epidural falling out again).
So around 6:45am my relief arrived and shortly after my backup midwife Katie came in to break my water and luckily the water was clear this time! The plan was to rest and wait it out...so we all took a break and rested but it wasn't long before I was feeling immense pressure to push again. Around 8:30 I called for Katie to come check me. And sure enough my cervix was gone. Katie asked me if I'd like to try a few practice pushes to see how things went. So we did a few pushes but knowing I pushed for 4+ hours with Gunnar we both thought it best to labor down and rest until the urge to push was unbearable before we really got the show on the road. So around 9:10am Katie put me in a position called the "Jack Knife" to rest in for an hour or two. This position supposedly gives the baby less room up top and helps the baby descend into the birth canal. I tried my best to rest but about 20 minutes later I could not contain the pressure any longer and called Katie back...I had to push.
This pushing was a far different experience then I had with my first. My epidural must have been set on a very low dosage as I could really feel everything happening. Surely it wasn't as painful as doing it without meds, but I definitely could feel all the pressure as my pushes were progressing the baby's head. I was in control this time telling everyone when I was going to push. During breaks between pushing John said we should place bets on the color of baby's hair. So I guessed blonde and he put in a bet for brown. After only 45 minutes of pushing they announced they could see the babies full head of dark hair! And as we got closer Katie had me slow down and give more and slightly stronger pushes...before I knew it the head was out and John was exclaiming how beautiful her face was and that she looked just like Gunnar (she was posterior after all...her face was sunnyside up)! And with one more push I could feel the baby release out of my body and into the arms of Katie. It was a glorious emotional and amazing feeling and I was so grateful to feel it happen this time. But my attention was focused elsewhere, I held my breath waiting in fear for that cry (praying to God we didn't have a scare like we did with G). She didn't cry immediately but within a minute we heard her lungs open up as she sang her first beautiful song for us. John and I burst into tears at the sound. I'm not sure I've ever been more relieved and happy in my life. So thankful to have a quick, healthy and safe delivery...
For the next 30 minutes we ogled over how big and beautiful she was. The nurses placed bets on how heavy she'd be before placing her on the scale. None of them guessing under 9 lbs...but, she fooled them all with her 8 pounds and 14 ounces. John and I could not believe the full head of virtually black hair and her perfectly feminine long fingers and gorgeous toes. Everything about her was more perfect than I could have ever imagined. And as John and I joked...I was so happy to not be pregnant any more!
Margot Maeve Hammergren was born at 10:31am on her paternal grandmother's birthday, July 25th, 2014. After only 12 hours of labor with the assistance of pitocin AND an epidural, I regret nothing. I was proud of the effort I made to attempt a natural birth and glad I pulled the plug on that idea when I did so that I was able get enough rest to power push this nearly nine pound baby into the world in 1/4 the time it took with my first (who was only 7 lbs 5 oz).
Welcome to the world Margot...I've loved you every minute you were inside of me and I will love you forever and a day now that you're in my arms.
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